1 Year

1 year; 52 weeks; 365 days; 8,760 hours; 525,600 minutes; 31,536,000 seconds.

1 year ago today 2 little lines on a stick changed everything! I've mentioned before about the struggles I had with pregnancy. Long story short, Jeremy and I kept going back and forth about when we wanted to start having kids. A lot of our friends had started getting pregnant and having kids and I started to think something was wrong with me. I would get jealous and angry sometimes wondering why I hadn't gotten pregnant and then I would realize that I just wanted to be pregnant because my friends were pregnant. Once I finally gave the decision to God and said "okay, it's on your time" I started feeling better.
I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I was driving to work eating a bagel with peanut butter and a banana. About have way through the banana I felt like I was going to throw up and I thought, oh that's weird. As I went throughout the day I debated whether or not to take a pregnancy test. I didn't want to take it because I didn't want to be disappointed again but at the same time I was scared to take it because I thought it might be positive this time. During the day a dear friend at work sent me the lyrics to a song:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says do not be afraid
And the Voice of Truth says this is for my glory
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

I knew at that moment that I had to take a pregnancy test that day. I drove home and stopped at Wal-Mart on the way. I walked in the front door and went straight to the bathroom. Jeremy was home but I didn't tell him what I was doing. I peed on the stick and after a minute I saw the one definite line, then very faintly I thought I could make out a second line, and I was like WHAT?!?!?! I ran into the computer room where Jeremy was and showed him and I was like "is there a second line there?!?" We just kind of stared at it for a second and then he held me and ask "how do you feel?" In that moment I felt every emotion possible! I promptly took a second test just to make sure, then we celebrated that night at my favorite mexican restaurant Cancun. And then I took a third test in the morning :)

I started loving my little girl the instant I saw that second line and I love her more now than I ever thought I could!

That day changed everything, and I wouldn't change that day for anything!

Sleep

I love how everyone tells you during your pregnancy that you'll never sleep again. Anytime you complain about sleep they just say "get used to it" or "oh wait it will get worse." I don't know if I just have the most awesome baby in the world or what but my sleep is way better now than it was during pregnancy... But let's rewind... okay so the first 6 weeks the sleep was not so good, I really didn't imagine being able to sleep more than 4-5 hours until Paige was about 3 or 4 months old. But my kid is a great sleeper! We didn't try any sleep training or anything like that, she just started sleeping an extra hour on her own each week. I am so blessed! I know there will still be nights when she will wake me up for some reason, but for now I'm taking advantage of every night by going to bed shortly after she does (yes, sometimes this means an 8:30 bedtime for me, but I'm okay with that!)!

I love love love love my little girl!! She is developing so quickly and it is so much fun! I love seeing her grow everyday and give me new faces everyday. I love it when I pick her from daycare and she stares at me for a couple seconds then gets this huge grin on her face!! I love that she is "talking" to us now, the girl loves to make noises!!

And currently my favorite thing... I love when Jeremy is holding her and playing with her! He is such an amazing dad, and he shows his love to her every time he sees her. I love when he's changing her diaper and I can hear him talking to her :)

It's just such a blessing to have an amazing husband and daughter! I love my family!!

2 months!!

Yes it's true... Paige is 2 Months old today!! She is getting big and developing so much! She smiles a lot and will "coo" at you (it's really fun when you do it back to her and the pattern repeats itself 3 or 4 times!). Her head control is getting so good, but she still looks like a little bobble-head doll :)She has been sleeping 8 hours, and I am enjoying every minute of it and I'm waking up less during the night freaking out wondering if she is okay. This child definitely likes to move around in her sleep though... I will lay her length-wise in the pack-n-play and when I wake up in the morning she is at the other end of the pack-n-play laying width-wise!! It's crazy!

Today is day 2 of daycare. I still have mixed emotions about it and I'm sure I will for another week or so! They said she did great yesterday and she was good for us last night too... she was really tired though, she only took a 45 min. nap at daycare and she ended up falling asleep around 8:30, she did a "sleep eat" at 9:30 and was out cold for the rest of the night! One bonus about the daycare is that they are giving cloth diapers a try! I think the older lady in there in the mornings is still a little weary of them, I asked her it went yesterday and she said 'okay.' Eventually we may have to switch to disposables during the day...

Overall things are going great... I'd say we are adjusting to parenthood quite nicely right now. I'm definitely taking advantage of this time because I know it won't last and I'll eventually be back to wanting to pull my hair out! :)

Relief!!

So a few days ago I posted about the troubles I was going through with breastfeeding... That has pretty much been resolved!! We decided to do a one-on-one with a lactation consultant in the hospital and holy cow... Things changed instantly for me!! The consultant was so great, she was so calm with me and the baby, she didn't criticize me for anything I had done previously, and she was so patient while we tried to work on Paige's latch and get her to eat! Overall during our session she ate 2.5oz (we weighed before and after feeding). As of Tuesday at the end of the feeding she was weighing 8lbs 10.5oz... So she's getting close to being back at her birth weight!! I think we will get there by her 2 week check on Friday! I am so glad that we paid for the private consult, things are so much better and I'm able to feed Paige without tears!!!

9 days...

The past 9 days have been the most exciting, tiring, and trying days of my life... And I am loving (almost) every minute of it!! I can't lie and say that I have loved every minute of it... There are those few times when I feel overwhelmed and I'm still feeling some pain! I'll start with the pain... I know everyone said that breastfeeding would be hard and I've found that it is, which I was expected. I met with 3 different lactation consultants in the 3 days I was in the hospital and I feel like they all gave me conflicting advice, as well as my pediatrician! I am still having some problems with it and as of today until I can get some more help we are going to start using bottles (with breastmilk - I've already got a short supply of milk from pumping and I will continue to pump). Jeremy gave Paige a bottle today and it worked great, it was a huge relief for me as I was almost in tears with every feeding! The pediatrician mentioned that since we already had a supply stored up we could start introducing a bottle at any time. Now don't get me wrong, I loved feeding my daughter and spending that time with her, but it was too the point where I was almost dreading feedings because I was hurting so bad. We may try again but for now I'm getting relief by giving her a bottle and pumping afterwards! The other pain is still the pain of the recovery... For the most part I feel pretty good, I'm not taking too many of my pain pills, trying to keep it to 1-2 a day. I still feel tightness around the incision area and when I laugh or cough it feels like I'm about to split open! Overall though I think the recovery process is going well. I'm still not allowed to drive or lift heavy things for another week, but Jeremy has been amazing helping out! As far as the whole "your body is preparing you" that people say during pregnancy when you complain about not sleeping well.. That's ridiculous! My body is not prepared... When you are pregnant and not sleeping, you get up, go to bathroom, and most of the time fall right back asleep... With a little baby, you get up, feed her for like 15-30 minutes, then have to change her, quite her, and lay her back down hoping she goes to sleep right away. I would definitely say the lack of sleep during pregnancy did not prepare me for what was to come! With all that said... Let me emphasize this... I absolutely, positively LOVE and adore my little girl!! I love holding her and watching her as much as I can! I love it when her eyes are open and shes just staring back at me (or staring at whatever catches her eye!), I love her little sneezes, I love her hiccups (even though she probably doesn't), I love having her lay on my chest while she takes a nap, heck, sometimes I even like changing her :)!! I'm so excited for that first smile to come!! Sometimes when others are holding her I get a little bit jealous!! God has given us such a huge blessing and I am so thankful that He chose us to be her parents!!! I'm loving being a mother to this little girl and a smile comes to my face every time I see her.

Stubborn and Beatiful Paige!

The following blog is a true story, this is the story of the birth of my daughter.

Let me start with this disclaimer:
- if you are pregnant (particularly with your first) take caution reading this, I didn't have the most normal birth story.
- the basics are: born 8/26/11 @ 7:34pm; weight 8lbs 13oz; height 21.5in.

So while I'm waiting for the pain medicine to kick in I thought what better time to write my birth story then at 1:30am!

Let's go back to Wednesday the 24th... I went in for my 41 week check up, I was at 3cm and the doctor stripped my membranes, she mentioned there was a 50% chance that this would speed things along and boy I think it did. We talked about the possibility of induction and I had originally thought that I didn't want to go past the weekend, but after talking with the doctor (who was by no means pushing me to get the induction) and after talking with Jeremy I felt this overwhelming sense of peace to wait. I know it was God saying I'm in control and she will come out when she's ready, so we decided to wait to schedule the induction for the following Wed (8/31).
Thursday: I woke up like I usually do every other morning, except I was only going to go to work for an hour or two to get things tied up and let them know I wanted to "officially" start my leave. One thing that happened before I headed downtown which made me a little curious about events later to come that day was that I had some diarrhea. I had thought I remembered reading somewhere that diarrhea was a sign of labor so I was paying close attention to my body the rest of the day.
I came home and just laid around for the rest of the afternoon with no significant events. I was starting to have a few contractions around 6 but they went away and weren't very strong. Then I had some more diarrhea and then Jeremy and I went for our normal evening walk. We took the short route because I told him I wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay a little closer to the house this time. When we got back to the house I started timing them at regular intervals (this started around 7:30 pm). They were stronger than I had ever felt before but I still wasn't ready to call this real labor yet, however, I think jeremy was... He knew before I did that we would be heading to the hospital that night (well early Friday morning). He called in sick to work around 9:00 that evening and I was so glad he did! I tried to lay down to get some sleep around 10pm but I don't think I ever really slept that night in more than 5 minute increments...
Friday: around 2:30am Jeremy finally convinced me to call the doctor and ask if we should head to the hospital, I called, told her my symptoms and she said yes, come on down. We arrived about 3:30 after getting the car packed up and went straight to triage where I was hooked up on the fetal monitor. The nurse checked me and I was at 5cm which made me pretty happy and I felt good about how long we stayed home to try and labor. We made it to our room around 4:30am and we were told that because I was at 41 weeks I would have to be hooked up to the monitor at all times, we weren't too happy about it and our nurse that came in at 5:ooam convinced the doctor to let us go 30 on/ 30 off since Paige was doing so great! We tried different labor techniques for the next few hours such as walking, leaning, using the birthing ball... I don't think I would say that I ever found a favorite position. Eventually all I wanted to do was curl up into the fetal position as much as I could. Jeremy was amazing through every single contraction.. He coached me through the so well! The doctor came in to check me around 8:30 and I hadn't progressed micha dn she wanted to break my water to try to help get things moving along. I think it was around 11:00 that I knew I needed a little bit of help, so we tried the Fentonoyl (not sure on the spelling) to try to take the edge off... I would say it only worked through like 2 contractions for me...
I was getting to the point that I remembered the doula saying in the natural childbirth discussion: if it gets to the point where it's going to be a traumatic experience for you then you need to think about an intervention. Jeremy was great, he knew how hard I was trying but he also saw the pain in my eyes. So we went with the epidural. I was more scared of the procedure of the epidural than anything else... It was probably the easiest part of yesterday, even better than getting the IV which took them 3 tries! I think I felt 2 more contractions while waiting for the mess to kick in... And then... Nothing!! I was at 7cm when I was given the epidural... So almost 9 hours of labor and I went from a 5 to a 7.. That was also a deciding factor for the drugs! The weirdest part was not being able to feel ANYTHING... I was completely numb! It did allow me to try to sleep for an hour or so...
The doctor came back in around 2:30 and I was completely dilated! She wanted me to start pushing but it was so hard because I couldn't feel anything! So they came and decreased my epidural which still didn't help much and they eventually turned it off. The next 3 hours from about 4:00-7:00 were filled with pushing, and towards the end the epidural was pretty much gone so I was feeling the contractions again, and while I wanted to stop pushing, it felt better to push through them than it did to try to breathe through them!
Here comes the problem... Paige was face up, the doctor could feel her forehead instead of the back of her head. We had tried during early labor some of the techniques to try to get her in position but apparently it never worked. The doctor thought through pushing I might be able to get her low enough to use the vacuum or forceps to get her out... Let me tell you, I'm glad I did't get that far! We ultimately made the decision with the doctor to get the C-Section. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I guess the scariest part for me was not being able know constantly that I was doing okay and that baby was doing okay. But once they pulled her out and I heard her crying I was so excited!! Then they had to keep working on me which was probably the most nerve-wracking part! I was so exhausted at this point that I could barely keep my eyes open while they were finishing. We made it back to our room around 8ish... I tried to feed Paige but could barely keep my eyes open to do it so she didn't get much to eat! I vaguely remember my parents coming into the room to meet her and then in was out cold. We sent Paige to the nursery so we could both get some sleep!

And that's how the birth story ends... There a few other TMI (too much information) bits that I left out... But no one wants to hear the bloody parts of birth!

As for any typos that appear.. I apologize I kept dozing off while writing this, but I really wanted to get it done! Now time for some more sleep!!

Come and Gone

Well, as most of you know my due date was August 19th... it's now August 22nd :) and I still have a baby in my belly. Now I know all of the "first babies are always late" fact/myth (you choose) that people keep telling me. Well let me say that 4 women that I knew that were due around the same time I was all had their babies early... and they were all first babies. When I think back to most of my friends that have had babies, most of them were also either on their due date or early. So I would prefer not to hear "first babies are always late." I understand that some babies are late, and now that I've made it past my due date I'm dealing with it.

I think the last two weeks of my pregnancy were the hardest for me to get through, just the unknown. Jeremy and I are so anxious to meet our little girl that it takes a toll on me thinking what can I do to get her out... I know there are things that are supposed to help get things going, but in reality, she'll come when she's ready, or she'll come when the doctor says it's time to get her out.

I know Jeremy in particular is so ready to meet our little girl. Recently a friend asked us what we were most looking forward to about being parents, and Jeremy's response is something I will never forget. He said he's just ready to be part of her life. Since he can't really do much right now (other than console me when my emotions run haywire) he's ready to help me and try to take some of that stress away from me that I've been dealing with for 9 months. It was such a genuine and loving answer that I will never forget. He has been so amazing during this pregnancy and I can't wait to see him hold his little girl for the first time!

All that to say, I'm still here and Paige is still with me :)

Hanging in There

I feel like I should wear a sign around my neck at work that says either "I'm here or Hanging in There." That is my response everyday when someone asks me how I am doing. It's not to be rude, it's just how I feel right now. I'm starting to get emotionally drained because I am ready to have a daughter (at what point does it stop feeling weird to say "daughter") in my arms. I'm ready to love her!

If I seem like I am in a bad mood all the time, I apologize... Most of the time it's probably because I'm tired (which I know won't change for a long time)... but part of the time it's because I just get tired of the waiting... And yes, again I know "It will all be worth it."

Anyway... I'm here and hanging in there...

Relaxed

Surprisingly I feel almost completely relaxed and ready to have this baby! A lot of that has been thanks to my awesome husband! He is so ready for her to be here and he has done everything to help me be prepared! He is so great, I haven't really been in much of a cooking mood for the last couple of months so he has been a heavy majority of the cooking! He also cleaned the carpets for me, and when we bought a curtain and rod for Paige's room he put it up that night! I honestly can't think of anything else that we need in our house to prepare for her arrival! Our awesome neighbor gave us their old swing because their kids are too big for it now and I've recently acquired a glider and ottoman from a co-worker!

I also feel relaxed at work. Monday and Tuesday were so productive, I came into this week feeling like I had so many "loose ends" to tie up before I left. I wanted to make sure my desk was in order, that there wasn't any paperwork in my drawer that only I would know why it was in there, making sure all my Research Assistants knew who to report while I was gone, and making sure the other Coordinator helping me out during my leave knew what they were supposed to be working on. The doctor that I primarily work for is on vacation until August 8th, so I really wanted to make sure I had things in order before she left today.

Anyway... all that to say, I love how I feel right now, that at any day my little girl could come into this world and I would be just fine with that! Normally I am a huge procrastinator so this feeling is a little different for me!

5 Weeks...

Wow... it's so hard to believe that in approximately 5 weeks we will have a little girl in our arms! I'm starting to feel slightly overwhelmed about what is to come, but try to remain calm because I know that God would not have blessed us with this baby if He did not think we were ready.

I still feel like there is so much to get ready but when I try to make a list of things to do it comes up as a pretty short list: 1) Get car seat installed/inspected; 2)Pack hospital bag 3)Clean carpets in the house (Jeremy's task). When people ask if we are ready I usually say Yes, because I'm thinking I'm ready to have this little girl at home. However, what I am not ready for is having her... With each passing day I get a little more nervous/anxious about the labor part. What if I'm not strong enough, what if something goes wrong... all questions that I have no control over so I need to stop worrying about them! I am strong enough with God's strength... if something goes wrong, I know that God is in control.

I feel like I have educated myself enough to know what to expect during the stages of Labor, I think I'm just nervous about how I'm going to handle them. But I am so thankful for an amazing husband who will be there with me every second to help me through! One book I just finished going through is called Better Birth. The author talks about "the power of positive thinking" which normally I think is pretty hokey and everything... but what she wrote about makes sense. It's about how our bodies and hormones respond to how we are feeling and if we have negative thoughts or attitudes it prohibits certain hormones from being released which can delay or stop labor. So that is one thing I am trying to focus on.

Just a few more weeks....

My first unscheduled Doctor visit

Yesterday I made my first unscheduled doctor's visit... I'll start by saying everything is just fine, Paige and I are doing well... here's the short story:

On Tuesday I hadn't felt my little girl being as active as she normally is which kind of worried me, I wasn't really able to focus on work too much and was more focused on my belly and trying to feel something or watch it move. I finally felt a few kicks that afternoon and more after dinner and ice cream (she likes ice cream :) ).

Yesterday I felt her moving in the morning, but only a few times, and then I didn't feel anything again all afternoon! So I wasn't focusing on work at all and ended up leaving a little early thinking, oh maybe if I just got home and lay down I'll feel her some more. But then I knew that I didn't want to wait another day before calling the doctor. I called the doctor's office when I got in the car (while trying to cry because I'm getting very emotional at this point) and explained to the Medical Assistant what was going on. She gave me the option of going home and drinking something with sugar in it and then laying down on my left side to start kick counts, I thought well I could do that but what time does the office close... if I don't feel anything and you guys are closed I really don't want to make a trip to the hospital. So then she was very nice (I think she knew I was freaking out a little bit) and offered for the NP to see me at the office and I said I'll be there as soon as I can.

I called Jeremy after that phone call and of course I couldn't hold back the crying at that point, he was still asleep so I did wake him up but I didn't want him to wake up later when I'm supposed to be home and not know where I was. Unfortunately he didn't get back to sleep because he was worried about me (I didn't want him driving to the office with me because I think I knew everything was okay and I felt like if he came with me it would make me more on edge... not sure if that makes sense).

So onto the doctor's office... well once there I got my first experience with the "non-stress test." Oh boy that was fun... let me tell you this little girl is stubborn! It took forever for the fetal monitor to pick up and hold her heart beat, I even ended up having to press down on it the whole time because it kept losing the beat (not that the beat wasn't there... it may have been the machine, I don't know). And she had hiccups which was kind of cute but annoying because i didn't know if I was supposed to count those as movements and press the little button! Well after a while she finally started moving and all in all everything is fine, her little heart rate when sky high with movement!

I knew that if I hadn't gone to the doctor yesterday I would have been worried about her all night and all day again today. Turns out another thing that I hadn't heard yet was that as she gets bigger it gets harder for me to feel the movements... which I didn't expect, I thought oh the bigger she gets the more she will kick because she wants more room... not this kid apparently. Although last night I think she was mad at me for going to the doctor because she gave me a few hard kicks, but I loved every single one of them! :)

So much for a "short" story!

Besties...

One year ago this weekend I was with my 3 best girlfriends in St. Louis! We had a great time and hadn't been together just for a relaxing weekend in a long time! We were all in each others weddings over the last 4 years but it hadn't been just the 4 of us for a long time! Going into the weekend I knew that 2 of them were pregnant, one was about 6 1/2 months along and the other was about 4 months along (if I remember correctly!). I knew the 3rd was about to be pregnant soon and of course she announced to us that weekend that she was pregnant as well! :)

I can't lie and say that I was thrilled to be rooming with 3 pregnant women for a weekend, now I'm not saying that I wasn't super excited for all 3 of them, it was just a difficult time for me at first. As the weekend went I realized how awesome these women are and how lucky their kids will be to have them as mothers! I'm glad I was the last to get pregnant... now I have 3 amazing sources to turn to :). I do find it rather amusing that all 4 of us will have had a baby within a year of each other! (Well, one already has a beautiful 4 year old, she was already onto kid #2, but she was also the first to get married!)

I love those girls dearly and cherish the small amount of time we get to see other throughout the years... I think it will be a while before we get a "girls" weekend only again!

I think that weekend last year was really the start of a breakthrough for me.



Jeremy and I hadn't fully discussed when exactly we wanted to have kids. We knew we wanted kids but it was more of a "if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't." And I kept telling myself I was okay with that. It wasn't until October after the Faith Women's retreat (when I again roomed with 3 pregnant women, not the same ones, but 3 of my very close friends that live here in Indy) with my church that I truly gave my desire to be pregnant up to God. I knew that I couldn't do it anymore, that I had to trust Him that it would come in His timing. And of course, 2 months later, God's timing came. I still remember that night like it was yesterday, all the emotions that went through me after seeing the faint 2nd line on that stick!

All this to say I can't believe in 8 weeks (or when she decides to come out!) that I will be holding a beautiful little girl in my arms!!

31 Weeks!!

Oops... so once again I'm not so good at this blogging business!!

Wow, I can't believe there are only 9 weeks (give or take) left until I meet my baby girl!!! Right now I am way more excited than I am nervous or scared about anything! This week she has been like a whole new baby just bouncing around inside my belly which is such a great feeling! She was so quite at first and it made me nervous so many times, but I love feeling her move around (except when I have to use the restroom and she's using my bladder as a punching bag!).

The doctor's visits have been going great and we are going every 2 weeks now. I have the next 3 appointments made and then it's weekly after that!! I really thought that by this point I would be freaking out about labor and giving birth, but I'm just so excited. Jeremy plays such a big role in that because he keeps telling me how excited he is to meet Paige! I love that he is so excited to be a dad and I know he's going to be a great one!

We had our first baby shower last week at work and I felt so blessed and was overwhelmed by the gifts my co-workers gave us! I have another one in Huntington tomorrow and one in Indianapolis the following weekend! Then July will be a busy month of finishing up the nursery and getting the things that we still need! Then August will be here!!!! :)

21 Weeks

Wow... these last three weeks have gone by so quickly! I am currently in a transition process at work. I've just been promoted to Research Coordinator and have some pretty big shoes to fill! So far it's okay, it's an adjustment, learning how to supervise and how to use the right words when talking to my research assistants. I know I've already messed up once, I should have waited until I had the correct words to say before speaking instead of fumbling through my words. And I should have looked at the scenario from different points of view. I already feel like I've learned a lot this week.

As far as baby stuff goes... my little girl is doing good, at least as far as I know. I wish she would start kicking me a little more, I'd like to feel her moving around, but I think she's a little shy (of course as I'm writing this she has decided to start kicking me :) ). I'm definitely learning to be more patient and trust God that she is there and she is fine. I'm excited to go to the doctor again in a week and a half just to hear her heartbeat again :).

We are getting so excited! Jeremy is noticing how "big" I'm getting and I think that makes him more excited for her to come! We were walking around Wal-Mart the other day and he said something along the lines of "I'm sorry she's not here yet." Which I thought was cute but at the same time I'm thinking... I'm not ready for her yet!!

But it is amazing how much you can love someone before you meet them!

18 Weeks

Yes... I know I'm a few days behind... but then again I know at least one of my readers was in the hospital because she just had a baby and probably hasn't had time to get on here anyway.. yay and Congrats Krista! She is so beautiful! And to those other 4 (that may be a stretch) readers I apologize if you were anxiously awaiting an update on my pregnancy, though I highly doubt you were :).

There really wasn't anything too exciting going on, I was hungry a lot last week, it came to a screeching halt on Saturday evening when I felt like my stomach was about to explode from eating too much. I felt so bad that I actually called Jeremy and asked him to come home early from Carrabba's because I didn't want to be alone. But then I was fine on Sunday and able to enjoy my dad's spectacularly amazing Fried Rice (I've tried to duplicate it, but even my husband enjoys my dad's more).

3 more days until we find out the gender of Baby Montz. I'm still waiting for that first kick, punch, or somersault which I possibly could have felt already and I'm just not aware of it. Oh well! I'm sure I'll get my confirmation that he or she is moving around when we get to see him or her again on Thursday!

17 Weeks

I often times feel like I have skipped a couple weeks of pregnancy... Probably because I want to be farther along than I actually am! Yes i know people say it goes by so quickly and I should enjoy, well I am not a patient person... When I know something is happening in the future it's all I can think about! But nevertheless I am at 17 weeks...

I had a great conversation this week with a friend who is pregnant, we were talking about the insecurities of pregnancy that people really just don't tell you about. For example, my friend is still in her first trimester which is the part where you worry about miscarriages and you pay careful attention to every new feeling in belly area, every movement can make your mind wonder what's happening down there and there is the waiting for that first appointment to see your baby and hear the heartbeat! For me I am at the point where I know the first movement is coming so I am anticipating it and probably thinking too much about it! Then when I feel that first movement I fear that I will be trying to feel every single movement after that and stressing myself out when I don't feel it! I am also at the point of starting to really show, but the insecurity there is that people that don't know I'm pregnant may just thing I'm overweight!! I feel that way sometimes too! I know i need to enjoy these changes because this should be a very enjoyable part of life, I just didn't expect to feel this way!

Our next appoint is 12 days away and we get to start calling baby Montz him or her!! I'm so excited to see my baby again and hear the heart beat... It just calms me down!

Through all the insecurities though I have to remember that God is charge, He knows every detail about this little baby and he is watching over it!!

16 weeks...

I'm not good at blogging... I've tried many times and failed many times... so I'm not sure if this will stick, but let's give it a whirl!!

I am now 16 weeks preggo!! 4 months down, it's crazy to think! There are still many days when I do not 'feel' pregnant, I wish I could hear the heart beat every week! My regular pants are definitely in their last stages, I may be able to get another week or so out of them... mom and I are going outlet shopping on the 26th, but I may have to figure out something before then!

Only 20 more days until we find out the gender of baby Montz!! We do already have names picked out... if it's a boy his name will be Vincent Edmond. Jeremy has said ever since we got married that he likes names that start with 'V' and Vincent was the only boys name that I liked so that's where Vincent came from and Edmond was my grandfathers name. He passed away in 2005 a month before my college graduation. We want his name to live on through our little one if the Lord blesses us with a boy!
If it's a girl, right now we are settled on the name Makayla Paige. No really rhyme or reason behind that one! Just something we both liked... although it took a few days for Jeremy to get on board with the name Paige! The girls name has actually changed about 3 times... so we'll see what happens!

Tomorrow Jeremy and I are going to our first board gaming convention called Indycon. It's just a local one, but we are both excited to go play games with friends all day!

That's all I've got for now... like I said, we'll see how this goes for the next 5 months!