Wednesday, December 7, 2011

1 Year

1 year; 52 weeks; 365 days; 8,760 hours; 525,600 minutes; 31,536,000 seconds.

1 year ago today 2 little lines on a stick changed everything! I've mentioned before about the struggles I had with pregnancy. Long story short, Jeremy and I kept going back and forth about when we wanted to start having kids. A lot of our friends had started getting pregnant and having kids and I started to think something was wrong with me. I would get jealous and angry sometimes wondering why I hadn't gotten pregnant and then I would realize that I just wanted to be pregnant because my friends were pregnant. Once I finally gave the decision to God and said "okay, it's on your time" I started feeling better.
I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I was driving to work eating a bagel with peanut butter and a banana. About have way through the banana I felt like I was going to throw up and I thought, oh that's weird. As I went throughout the day I debated whether or not to take a pregnancy test. I didn't want to take it because I didn't want to be disappointed again but at the same time I was scared to take it because I thought it might be positive this time. During the day a dear friend at work sent me the lyrics to a song:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says do not be afraid
And the Voice of Truth says this is for my glory
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

I knew at that moment that I had to take a pregnancy test that day. I drove home and stopped at Wal-Mart on the way. I walked in the front door and went straight to the bathroom. Jeremy was home but I didn't tell him what I was doing. I peed on the stick and after a minute I saw the one definite line, then very faintly I thought I could make out a second line, and I was like WHAT?!?!?! I ran into the computer room where Jeremy was and showed him and I was like "is there a second line there?!?" We just kind of stared at it for a second and then he held me and ask "how do you feel?" In that moment I felt every emotion possible! I promptly took a second test just to make sure, then we celebrated that night at my favorite mexican restaurant Cancun. And then I took a third test in the morning :)

I started loving my little girl the instant I saw that second line and I love her more now than I ever thought I could!

That day changed everything, and I wouldn't change that day for anything!

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