Thursday, September 8, 2011
Relief!!
So a few days ago I posted about the troubles I was going through with breastfeeding... That has pretty much been resolved!! We decided to do a one-on-one with a lactation consultant in the hospital and holy cow... Things changed instantly for me!! The consultant was so great, she was so calm with me and the baby, she didn't criticize me for anything I had done previously, and she was so patient while we tried to work on Paige's latch and get her to eat! Overall during our session she ate 2.5oz (we weighed before and after feeding). As of Tuesday at the end of the feeding she was weighing 8lbs 10.5oz... So she's getting close to being back at her birth weight!! I think we will get there by her 2 week check on Friday! I am so glad that we paid for the private consult, things are so much better and I'm able to feed Paige without tears!!!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
9 days...
The past 9 days have been the most exciting, tiring, and trying days of my life... And I am loving (almost) every minute of it!! I can't lie and say that I have loved every minute of it... There are those few times when I feel overwhelmed and I'm still feeling some pain!
I'll start with the pain... I know everyone said that breastfeeding would be hard and I've found that it is, which I was expected. I met with 3 different lactation consultants in the 3 days I was in the hospital and I feel like they all gave me conflicting advice, as well as my pediatrician! I am still having some problems with it and as of today until I can get some more help we are going to start using bottles (with breastmilk - I've already got a short supply of milk from pumping and I will continue to pump). Jeremy gave Paige a bottle today and it worked great, it was a huge relief for me as I was almost in tears with every feeding! The pediatrician mentioned that since we already had a supply stored up we could start introducing a bottle at any time. Now don't get me wrong, I loved feeding my daughter and spending that time with her, but it was too the point where I was almost dreading feedings because I was hurting so bad. We may try again but for now I'm getting relief by giving her a bottle and pumping afterwards!
The other pain is still the pain of the recovery... For the most part I feel pretty good, I'm not taking too many of my pain pills, trying to keep it to 1-2 a day. I still feel tightness around the incision area and when I laugh or cough it feels like I'm about to split open! Overall though I think the recovery process is going well. I'm still not allowed to drive or lift heavy things for another week, but Jeremy has been amazing helping out!
As far as the whole "your body is preparing you" that people say during pregnancy when you complain about not sleeping well.. That's ridiculous! My body is not prepared... When you are pregnant and not sleeping, you get up, go to bathroom, and most of the time fall right back asleep... With a little baby, you get up, feed her for like 15-30 minutes, then have to change her, quite her, and lay her back down hoping she goes to sleep right away. I would definitely say the lack of sleep during pregnancy did not prepare me for what was to come!
With all that said... Let me emphasize this... I absolutely, positively LOVE and adore my little girl!! I love holding her and watching her as much as I can! I love it when her eyes are open and shes just staring back at me (or staring at whatever catches her eye!), I love her little sneezes, I love her hiccups (even though she probably doesn't), I love having her lay on my chest while she takes a nap, heck, sometimes I even like changing her :)!! I'm so excited for that first smile to come!! Sometimes when others are holding her I get a little bit jealous!! God has given us such a huge blessing and I am so thankful that He chose us to be her parents!!! I'm loving being a mother to this little girl and a smile comes to my face every time I see her.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Stubborn and Beatiful Paige!
The following blog is a true story, this is the story of the birth of my daughter.
Let me start with this disclaimer:
- if you are pregnant (particularly with your first) take caution reading this, I didn't have the most normal birth story.
- the basics are: born 8/26/11 @ 7:34pm; weight 8lbs 13oz; height 21.5in.
So while I'm waiting for the pain medicine to kick in I thought what better time to write my birth story then at 1:30am!
Let's go back to Wednesday the 24th... I went in for my 41 week check up, I was at 3cm and the doctor stripped my membranes, she mentioned there was a 50% chance that this would speed things along and boy I think it did. We talked about the possibility of induction and I had originally thought that I didn't want to go past the weekend, but after talking with the doctor (who was by no means pushing me to get the induction) and after talking with Jeremy I felt this overwhelming sense of peace to wait. I know it was God saying I'm in control and she will come out when she's ready, so we decided to wait to schedule the induction for the following Wed (8/31).
Thursday: I woke up like I usually do every other morning, except I was only going to go to work for an hour or two to get things tied up and let them know I wanted to "officially" start my leave. One thing that happened before I headed downtown which made me a little curious about events later to come that day was that I had some diarrhea. I had thought I remembered reading somewhere that diarrhea was a sign of labor so I was paying close attention to my body the rest of the day.
I came home and just laid around for the rest of the afternoon with no significant events. I was starting to have a few contractions around 6 but they went away and weren't very strong. Then I had some more diarrhea and then Jeremy and I went for our normal evening walk. We took the short route because I told him I wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay a little closer to the house this time. When we got back to the house I started timing them at regular intervals (this started around 7:30 pm). They were stronger than I had ever felt before but I still wasn't ready to call this real labor yet, however, I think jeremy was... He knew before I did that we would be heading to the hospital that night (well early Friday morning). He called in sick to work around 9:00 that evening and I was so glad he did! I tried to lay down to get some sleep around 10pm but I don't think I ever really slept that night in more than 5 minute increments...
Friday: around 2:30am Jeremy finally convinced me to call the doctor and ask if we should head to the hospital, I called, told her my symptoms and she said yes, come on down. We arrived about 3:30 after getting the car packed up and went straight to triage where I was hooked up on the fetal monitor. The nurse checked me and I was at 5cm which made me pretty happy and I felt good about how long we stayed home to try and labor. We made it to our room around 4:30am and we were told that because I was at 41 weeks I would have to be hooked up to the monitor at all times, we weren't too happy about it and our nurse that came in at 5:ooam convinced the doctor to let us go 30 on/ 30 off since Paige was doing so great! We tried different labor techniques for the next few hours such as walking, leaning, using the birthing ball... I don't think I would say that I ever found a favorite position. Eventually all I wanted to do was curl up into the fetal position as much as I could. Jeremy was amazing through every single contraction.. He coached me through the so well! The doctor came in to check me around 8:30 and I hadn't progressed micha dn she wanted to break my water to try to help get things moving along. I think it was around 11:00 that I knew I needed a little bit of help, so we tried the Fentonoyl (not sure on the spelling) to try to take the edge off... I would say it only worked through like 2 contractions for me...
I was getting to the point that I remembered the doula saying in the natural childbirth discussion: if it gets to the point where it's going to be a traumatic experience for you then you need to think about an intervention. Jeremy was great, he knew how hard I was trying but he also saw the pain in my eyes. So we went with the epidural. I was more scared of the procedure of the epidural than anything else... It was probably the easiest part of yesterday, even better than getting the IV which took them 3 tries! I think I felt 2 more contractions while waiting for the mess to kick in... And then... Nothing!! I was at 7cm when I was given the epidural... So almost 9 hours of labor and I went from a 5 to a 7.. That was also a deciding factor for the drugs! The weirdest part was not being able to feel ANYTHING... I was completely numb! It did allow me to try to sleep for an hour or so...
The doctor came back in around 2:30 and I was completely dilated! She wanted me to start pushing but it was so hard because I couldn't feel anything! So they came and decreased my epidural which still didn't help much and they eventually turned it off. The next 3 hours from about 4:00-7:00 were filled with pushing, and towards the end the epidural was pretty much gone so I was feeling the contractions again, and while I wanted to stop pushing, it felt better to push through them than it did to try to breathe through them!
Here comes the problem... Paige was face up, the doctor could feel her forehead instead of the back of her head. We had tried during early labor some of the techniques to try to get her in position but apparently it never worked. The doctor thought through pushing I might be able to get her low enough to use the vacuum or forceps to get her out... Let me tell you, I'm glad I did't get that far! We ultimately made the decision with the doctor to get the C-Section. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I guess the scariest part for me was not being able know constantly that I was doing okay and that baby was doing okay. But once they pulled her out and I heard her crying I was so excited!! Then they had to keep working on me which was probably the most nerve-wracking part! I was so exhausted at this point that I could barely keep my eyes open while they were finishing. We made it back to our room around 8ish... I tried to feed Paige but could barely keep my eyes open to do it so she didn't get much to eat! I vaguely remember my parents coming into the room to meet her and then in was out cold. We sent Paige to the nursery so we could both get some sleep!
And that's how the birth story ends... There a few other TMI (too much information) bits that I left out... But no one wants to hear the bloody parts of birth!
As for any typos that appear.. I apologize I kept dozing off while writing this, but I really wanted to get it done! Now time for some more sleep!!
Let me start with this disclaimer:
- if you are pregnant (particularly with your first) take caution reading this, I didn't have the most normal birth story.
- the basics are: born 8/26/11 @ 7:34pm; weight 8lbs 13oz; height 21.5in.
So while I'm waiting for the pain medicine to kick in I thought what better time to write my birth story then at 1:30am!
Let's go back to Wednesday the 24th... I went in for my 41 week check up, I was at 3cm and the doctor stripped my membranes, she mentioned there was a 50% chance that this would speed things along and boy I think it did. We talked about the possibility of induction and I had originally thought that I didn't want to go past the weekend, but after talking with the doctor (who was by no means pushing me to get the induction) and after talking with Jeremy I felt this overwhelming sense of peace to wait. I know it was God saying I'm in control and she will come out when she's ready, so we decided to wait to schedule the induction for the following Wed (8/31).
Thursday: I woke up like I usually do every other morning, except I was only going to go to work for an hour or two to get things tied up and let them know I wanted to "officially" start my leave. One thing that happened before I headed downtown which made me a little curious about events later to come that day was that I had some diarrhea. I had thought I remembered reading somewhere that diarrhea was a sign of labor so I was paying close attention to my body the rest of the day.
I came home and just laid around for the rest of the afternoon with no significant events. I was starting to have a few contractions around 6 but they went away and weren't very strong. Then I had some more diarrhea and then Jeremy and I went for our normal evening walk. We took the short route because I told him I wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay a little closer to the house this time. When we got back to the house I started timing them at regular intervals (this started around 7:30 pm). They were stronger than I had ever felt before but I still wasn't ready to call this real labor yet, however, I think jeremy was... He knew before I did that we would be heading to the hospital that night (well early Friday morning). He called in sick to work around 9:00 that evening and I was so glad he did! I tried to lay down to get some sleep around 10pm but I don't think I ever really slept that night in more than 5 minute increments...
Friday: around 2:30am Jeremy finally convinced me to call the doctor and ask if we should head to the hospital, I called, told her my symptoms and she said yes, come on down. We arrived about 3:30 after getting the car packed up and went straight to triage where I was hooked up on the fetal monitor. The nurse checked me and I was at 5cm which made me pretty happy and I felt good about how long we stayed home to try and labor. We made it to our room around 4:30am and we were told that because I was at 41 weeks I would have to be hooked up to the monitor at all times, we weren't too happy about it and our nurse that came in at 5:ooam convinced the doctor to let us go 30 on/ 30 off since Paige was doing so great! We tried different labor techniques for the next few hours such as walking, leaning, using the birthing ball... I don't think I would say that I ever found a favorite position. Eventually all I wanted to do was curl up into the fetal position as much as I could. Jeremy was amazing through every single contraction.. He coached me through the so well! The doctor came in to check me around 8:30 and I hadn't progressed micha dn she wanted to break my water to try to help get things moving along. I think it was around 11:00 that I knew I needed a little bit of help, so we tried the Fentonoyl (not sure on the spelling) to try to take the edge off... I would say it only worked through like 2 contractions for me...
I was getting to the point that I remembered the doula saying in the natural childbirth discussion: if it gets to the point where it's going to be a traumatic experience for you then you need to think about an intervention. Jeremy was great, he knew how hard I was trying but he also saw the pain in my eyes. So we went with the epidural. I was more scared of the procedure of the epidural than anything else... It was probably the easiest part of yesterday, even better than getting the IV which took them 3 tries! I think I felt 2 more contractions while waiting for the mess to kick in... And then... Nothing!! I was at 7cm when I was given the epidural... So almost 9 hours of labor and I went from a 5 to a 7.. That was also a deciding factor for the drugs! The weirdest part was not being able to feel ANYTHING... I was completely numb! It did allow me to try to sleep for an hour or so...
The doctor came back in around 2:30 and I was completely dilated! She wanted me to start pushing but it was so hard because I couldn't feel anything! So they came and decreased my epidural which still didn't help much and they eventually turned it off. The next 3 hours from about 4:00-7:00 were filled with pushing, and towards the end the epidural was pretty much gone so I was feeling the contractions again, and while I wanted to stop pushing, it felt better to push through them than it did to try to breathe through them!
Here comes the problem... Paige was face up, the doctor could feel her forehead instead of the back of her head. We had tried during early labor some of the techniques to try to get her in position but apparently it never worked. The doctor thought through pushing I might be able to get her low enough to use the vacuum or forceps to get her out... Let me tell you, I'm glad I did't get that far! We ultimately made the decision with the doctor to get the C-Section. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I guess the scariest part for me was not being able know constantly that I was doing okay and that baby was doing okay. But once they pulled her out and I heard her crying I was so excited!! Then they had to keep working on me which was probably the most nerve-wracking part! I was so exhausted at this point that I could barely keep my eyes open while they were finishing. We made it back to our room around 8ish... I tried to feed Paige but could barely keep my eyes open to do it so she didn't get much to eat! I vaguely remember my parents coming into the room to meet her and then in was out cold. We sent Paige to the nursery so we could both get some sleep!
And that's how the birth story ends... There a few other TMI (too much information) bits that I left out... But no one wants to hear the bloody parts of birth!
As for any typos that appear.. I apologize I kept dozing off while writing this, but I really wanted to get it done! Now time for some more sleep!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Come and Gone
Well, as most of you know my due date was August 19th... it's now August 22nd :) and I still have a baby in my belly. Now I know all of the "first babies are always late" fact/myth (you choose) that people keep telling me. Well let me say that 4 women that I knew that were due around the same time I was all had their babies early... and they were all first babies. When I think back to most of my friends that have had babies, most of them were also either on their due date or early. So I would prefer not to hear "first babies are always late." I understand that some babies are late, and now that I've made it past my due date I'm dealing with it.
I think the last two weeks of my pregnancy were the hardest for me to get through, just the unknown. Jeremy and I are so anxious to meet our little girl that it takes a toll on me thinking what can I do to get her out... I know there are things that are supposed to help get things going, but in reality, she'll come when she's ready, or she'll come when the doctor says it's time to get her out.
I know Jeremy in particular is so ready to meet our little girl. Recently a friend asked us what we were most looking forward to about being parents, and Jeremy's response is something I will never forget. He said he's just ready to be part of her life. Since he can't really do much right now (other than console me when my emotions run haywire) he's ready to help me and try to take some of that stress away from me that I've been dealing with for 9 months. It was such a genuine and loving answer that I will never forget. He has been so amazing during this pregnancy and I can't wait to see him hold his little girl for the first time!
All that to say, I'm still here and Paige is still with me :)
I think the last two weeks of my pregnancy were the hardest for me to get through, just the unknown. Jeremy and I are so anxious to meet our little girl that it takes a toll on me thinking what can I do to get her out... I know there are things that are supposed to help get things going, but in reality, she'll come when she's ready, or she'll come when the doctor says it's time to get her out.
I know Jeremy in particular is so ready to meet our little girl. Recently a friend asked us what we were most looking forward to about being parents, and Jeremy's response is something I will never forget. He said he's just ready to be part of her life. Since he can't really do much right now (other than console me when my emotions run haywire) he's ready to help me and try to take some of that stress away from me that I've been dealing with for 9 months. It was such a genuine and loving answer that I will never forget. He has been so amazing during this pregnancy and I can't wait to see him hold his little girl for the first time!
All that to say, I'm still here and Paige is still with me :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Hanging in There
I feel like I should wear a sign around my neck at work that says either "I'm here or Hanging in There." That is my response everyday when someone asks me how I am doing. It's not to be rude, it's just how I feel right now. I'm starting to get emotionally drained because I am ready to have a daughter (at what point does it stop feeling weird to say "daughter") in my arms. I'm ready to love her!
If I seem like I am in a bad mood all the time, I apologize... Most of the time it's probably because I'm tired (which I know won't change for a long time)... but part of the time it's because I just get tired of the waiting... And yes, again I know "It will all be worth it."
Anyway... I'm here and hanging in there...
If I seem like I am in a bad mood all the time, I apologize... Most of the time it's probably because I'm tired (which I know won't change for a long time)... but part of the time it's because I just get tired of the waiting... And yes, again I know "It will all be worth it."
Anyway... I'm here and hanging in there...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Relaxed
Surprisingly I feel almost completely relaxed and ready to have this baby! A lot of that has been thanks to my awesome husband! He is so ready for her to be here and he has done everything to help me be prepared! He is so great, I haven't really been in much of a cooking mood for the last couple of months so he has been a heavy majority of the cooking! He also cleaned the carpets for me, and when we bought a curtain and rod for Paige's room he put it up that night! I honestly can't think of anything else that we need in our house to prepare for her arrival! Our awesome neighbor gave us their old swing because their kids are too big for it now and I've recently acquired a glider and ottoman from a co-worker!
I also feel relaxed at work. Monday and Tuesday were so productive, I came into this week feeling like I had so many "loose ends" to tie up before I left. I wanted to make sure my desk was in order, that there wasn't any paperwork in my drawer that only I would know why it was in there, making sure all my Research Assistants knew who to report while I was gone, and making sure the other Coordinator helping me out during my leave knew what they were supposed to be working on. The doctor that I primarily work for is on vacation until August 8th, so I really wanted to make sure I had things in order before she left today.
Anyway... all that to say, I love how I feel right now, that at any day my little girl could come into this world and I would be just fine with that! Normally I am a huge procrastinator so this feeling is a little different for me!
I also feel relaxed at work. Monday and Tuesday were so productive, I came into this week feeling like I had so many "loose ends" to tie up before I left. I wanted to make sure my desk was in order, that there wasn't any paperwork in my drawer that only I would know why it was in there, making sure all my Research Assistants knew who to report while I was gone, and making sure the other Coordinator helping me out during my leave knew what they were supposed to be working on. The doctor that I primarily work for is on vacation until August 8th, so I really wanted to make sure I had things in order before she left today.
Anyway... all that to say, I love how I feel right now, that at any day my little girl could come into this world and I would be just fine with that! Normally I am a huge procrastinator so this feeling is a little different for me!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
5 Weeks...
Wow... it's so hard to believe that in approximately 5 weeks we will have a little girl in our arms! I'm starting to feel slightly overwhelmed about what is to come, but try to remain calm because I know that God would not have blessed us with this baby if He did not think we were ready.
I still feel like there is so much to get ready but when I try to make a list of things to do it comes up as a pretty short list: 1) Get car seat installed/inspected; 2)Pack hospital bag 3)Clean carpets in the house (Jeremy's task). When people ask if we are ready I usually say Yes, because I'm thinking I'm ready to have this little girl at home. However, what I am not ready for is having her... With each passing day I get a little more nervous/anxious about the labor part. What if I'm not strong enough, what if something goes wrong... all questions that I have no control over so I need to stop worrying about them! I am strong enough with God's strength... if something goes wrong, I know that God is in control.
I feel like I have educated myself enough to know what to expect during the stages of Labor, I think I'm just nervous about how I'm going to handle them. But I am so thankful for an amazing husband who will be there with me every second to help me through! One book I just finished going through is called Better Birth. The author talks about "the power of positive thinking" which normally I think is pretty hokey and everything... but what she wrote about makes sense. It's about how our bodies and hormones respond to how we are feeling and if we have negative thoughts or attitudes it prohibits certain hormones from being released which can delay or stop labor. So that is one thing I am trying to focus on.
Just a few more weeks....
I still feel like there is so much to get ready but when I try to make a list of things to do it comes up as a pretty short list: 1) Get car seat installed/inspected; 2)Pack hospital bag 3)Clean carpets in the house (Jeremy's task). When people ask if we are ready I usually say Yes, because I'm thinking I'm ready to have this little girl at home. However, what I am not ready for is having her... With each passing day I get a little more nervous/anxious about the labor part. What if I'm not strong enough, what if something goes wrong... all questions that I have no control over so I need to stop worrying about them! I am strong enough with God's strength... if something goes wrong, I know that God is in control.
I feel like I have educated myself enough to know what to expect during the stages of Labor, I think I'm just nervous about how I'm going to handle them. But I am so thankful for an amazing husband who will be there with me every second to help me through! One book I just finished going through is called Better Birth. The author talks about "the power of positive thinking" which normally I think is pretty hokey and everything... but what she wrote about makes sense. It's about how our bodies and hormones respond to how we are feeling and if we have negative thoughts or attitudes it prohibits certain hormones from being released which can delay or stop labor. So that is one thing I am trying to focus on.
Just a few more weeks....
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